I may not be aesthetically pleasing to the masses but I’m proud and comfy in my body :D

I may not be aesthetically pleasing to the masses but I’m proud and comfy in my body :D

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One of the gifts we’re giving to Orman is his first #geocoin. 
The plan is We’re going to make a cache and put this coin in it to see where it’ll go. Then on his 18th, fingers crossed, we’ll go in a road trip to where it is. 😃 #geocaching #family #life

One of the gifts we’re giving to Orman is his first #geocoin. The plan is We’re going to make a cache and put this coin in it to see where it’ll go. Then on his 18th, fingers crossed, we’ll go in a road trip to where it is. 😃 #geocaching #family #life

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I gotta pee!!!!

But if I try to lay Ozzy down he’ll wake up and I had just gotten him to finally take a nap and hubby is sick with the flu and I don’t want to disturb what little sleep he’s getting but I really gotta fucking pee!!!! and I don’t want to bring Ozzy with me to the bathroom cuz that’s not sanitary and I don’t need the both of them to be sick and OMFG what about the weekend when I have to work and hubby’s home with Ozzy and I REALLYreally don’t need the both of them sick just days before our trip to Hawaii omg this is going to suckIGOTTAPEE

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932p

So something pretty fierce happened today.

Today was a surprise birthday party for momma matriarch and we had it in a party hall rather than her house because apparently they all drank the water resulting in A shitload of spring babies, Ozzy being one of them. ANYWAY, as the other cousins, second cousins, exwife-aunt and current wife-aunt-things were coming in, the new moms ended up in one corner, just sharing stories. One of the aunts had told us that they set up a chair in the bathroom for anyone wanting to breastfeed…and oh my gosh did that start up the “I Am Woman. Hear Me Roar” kind of movement. My cousin (technically hubby’s cousin) is a mother of four, this baby being her first girl, scoffed at that aunt (her mom) and said “I’ll just throw this rag over me to cover” and the other “new” moms all chimed in with their stories about publicly breastfeeding in the mall, in the movie theaters, at the pool, etc. The only reason why they’ll cover up at this party is out of respect for momma matriarch. Wouldn’t a mother, who is almost 80, still going strong mind you, of 6 kids, 9 grand kids, and nearly 20 great grandkids not care about seeing a mom breastfeed? but since I’m the only real first time mom of the family they’re all treating me like “aw, you’re cute with your embarrassment” kind of attitude.

Still…it was Pretty awesome. Then they sang momma matriarch Happy Birthday, she opened presents, had cupcakes and then sat through family portraits of each of her kids and their bloodline. Each picture would have momma matriarch, her kid then their kids and their kids kind of thing. it was Pretty neat.

Then the party kind of went south once the rain hit. All the rambunctious little boys jumped off the porch and played in the rain. And their parents were trying to call them in. Futile. “Get yer butt over here!” “But I’m having fun!!” Once they got caught, they got a pop on their butt…some with more than others for not minding their parents sooner. “Don’t make me make yew git tha switch! Now c’mere!!” For all of you not from the south, a switch is a long bendy bit of tree branch used for spanking. Like the end of a fishing pole…the real flexible part. Some of my aunts and cousins have told me that they’d have their kid go out into the woods and pick out their own switch. “You’d think that the thinner ones wouldn’t hurt so much…but nope. You learn not to be a bad kid after that. Or at least don’t get caught”
In a Filipino household, like I grew up in, you got the tsinela, a flip flop, for palo, spankings. My parents hardly spanked my siblings and me. We learned to behave from just “the thunder” and threats in their voice.

I remember once instance, my sister and me were playing around in church during Mass and my mom kept telling us to behave “or watch when we get home” we kept shrugging it off and soon our mom was just saying “o sige na. (Keep going) You watch” but we kept ignoring her. The instant Mass was over, we started crying. All the way to the car. And mom, still tryin g to be serious and pissed off at us, was laughing so hard. “Why you crying for? I haven’t even hit you yet!” “But you are going to hit us! Don’t hit us! We’re sorry!” “No. You want to disobey me and disrespect God during church. You’re going to get it once we get home!” And we bawled even louder and harder and she had to keep a straight face all the way home. When we did get home we were such sobbing wrecks all she had to do was lecture us (after trying to get us to calm down) and she slapped our palms with the tsinela.

Alright going back to why the party went south. One of the other moms got one of the boys and told him not to push one of the toddlers. But he wasn’t even looking at her or acknowledging that he was being corrected which frustrated her even more and was trying to get him to look at her. The father of the boy said that she was in the wrong for trying to correct his son but the mother spanked him for not respecting his aunt and for trying to push the toddler.

The party, all in all, was pretty good. Each baby was passed around to every aunt, cousin and second cousin multiple times. Poor Ozzy knocked out as soon as we got in the car. And not just his “the car rocked me to sleep” sleep but KTFO (knocked the fxck out) kind of sleep. And he wanted was a bath and a good feeding and he’s been out.

Well time for me to knock out too. Laters!

We’re naming our baby after hubby’s dad and my grandfather :) both monumental men

Hubby’s family, who are white, can’t pronounce Baby’s middle name. And my family, who are filipino, can’t pronounce the first name.

Lol so I guess it makes even

Mother-in-law just called a second ago asking how to spell baby’s middle name for the baby shower

Annual honeymoon/babymoon :-) #honeymoon #husband #wife #life #awesome  (at Moody Gardens Hotel)

Annual honeymoon/babymoon :-) #honeymoon #husband #wife #life #awesome (at Moody Gardens Hotel)

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#obeythecard bought a new board game. Super fun! Even better if there were more players lol #husband #wife #life #fun  (Taken with Instagram)

#obeythecard bought a new board game. Super fun! Even better if there were more players lol #husband #wife #life #fun (Taken with Instagram)

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I’ve came to a very weird conclusion

Hubby and I need to get away from each other. Not because of anything serious like infidelity or abuse or anything like that.

It’s because we’ve been together long enough that our bodies have the same poop schedule. And we only have one bathroom.

One of us will always have to do the pee pee dance or turn green as they hold their butt trying not to ass-plode everywhere

Lmao sorry if this was TMI

Vanilla malt #lunch #husban #wife #life  (Taken with Instagram at Farmhouse Sweets & Eats)

Vanilla malt #lunch #husban #wife #life (Taken with Instagram at Farmhouse Sweets & Eats)

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